Bad Drivers - Tragic Comedy at Funeratic

Bad Drivers

There are a lot of bad drivers around here. Kelly and I have lost count of how many times we've seen someone driving on the wrong side of a median-divided road, barreling through a red light and nearly hitting another car or a pedestrian, ignoring signs and lights completely and just driving anywhere they feel like, and veering in and out of lanes at high speeds. Depending on the neighborhood around here, the city planners didn't help, creating labyrinthine parking lots with no straight paths through and putting important signs just around bends outside of view. It's anxiety-inducing being on the road here some days, and it's a wonder we haven't been hit yet, although we have seen other people hit. We frequently ask each other why drivers are so insane here.

I know that as we get older, we're inclined to drive more cautiously and be more irritated by the apparent daredevils sharing the road with us. I also know that it's easy to assume that Florida has more than its share of bad drivers because so many lunatics, rednecks, and criminals tend to relocate here, as Florida is a weirdness magnet.

But it also seems like everywhere I go to visit, people tell me that people drive crazy there too. Chicago drivers speed through residential neighborhoods. Milwaukee drivers merge without looking. Charlotte drivers are unaware of the existence of turn signals. I haven't been to St. Louis since I was a kid, but I'm sure those of you reading from that area can tell us horror stories too.

So it got me wondering: Are drivers objectively worse in some areas than in others? Or are we just naturally inclined to assume that when they're bad around us, they must be worse here than in other areas? Human reasoning once led us to think that the Earth was the center of the universe, and still allows some of us to believe that God supports our sports team rather than the other guys. Maybe it also convinces us that our own local motorists are terrible drivers, when in fact they might be statistically better than in many other places.

The data is easy to come by, such as a map showing average driver test scores by state, in which none of us live in the worst states. But every time some bozo cuts inches in front of me without signaling, the calmer side of me is still going to wonder if I'm not imagining a trend that just isn't there. Maybe it will help the angrier side of me not to be so bothered by it.

–Scott Hardie • April 30 2011, 9:51am EST

I would think Memphis would be the worst cause they drive like nuts just like some of the St.Louis people

–Chris Lemler • April 30 2011, 9:55am EST

Southern California hands down for the states, but I wouldn't drive in Tijuana ever again unless i was in an armored vehicle with a big plow

–Dave Stoppenhagen • May 1 2011, 10:20pm EST

Not that this is a competition but the major city to which I live next door (DC), had one of the lowest scores on that GMAC insurance scale. I'm completely unshocked.

–Steve West • May 2 2011, 7:34am EST

I've essentially given up on driving. Traffic stresses me out, so I just decided to start taking the bus. I start my car maybe 2 times a week now. It's great.

–Erik Bates • May 2 2011, 8:54am EST

Between DC and St. Louis, having several years of experience with both, St Louis get my bid for worst drivers. Both are equally stressful, but the St. Louis area drivers don't pay attention. Merging is a right, and woe be to the traffic on the highway. At a stop sign, you need only look one way before crossing over traffic.

My favorite (True Story, actual words at a rear-ending): "I thought you were going. Why did you stop at the light". To make it worse, the officer taking the statement asked the same question.

Answer: "Because it was red".

I could go on, but suffice to say, they seem to have no idea of what is going on beyond the confines of the vehicle interior.

Thoughts while driving in DC area traffic - "I'm going to die".
Thoughts while driving in St. Louis area - "These people are going to kill me".

Who needs Vegas?

–Russ Wilhelm • May 2 2011, 10:46pm EST

My take:

In America, STL has to be the worst. I've heard people say LA, but you can't drive there. The traffic doesn't move. And NYC is fine if you're actually through the tunnels.
Saint Louis seems the worst because it is batting out of its league - larger/denser cities have more justification to be lunatic because of numbers and more stress in commutes.
Saint Louis has no density argument or bad planning argument to explain itself. A bad commute here is an hour each way. Rough, I suppose, but nothing like LA. Also, people are nice as can be in person but truly evil on the roads.
What blows my mind is the fact that Russ brought up - Red Lights Mean Nothing Here. Nothing. They seem to have installed fake cameras just to scare you into fearing that the cops will get you for running a red.
Today I was genuinely in a car for 30 minutes, total. I saw two red lights run. This is about average for my experience here. It's to the point that, if I'm turning left, I will NEVER creep in for the last moment before the red (which works literally everywhere else). Why? I am absolutely positive that I will die that way if I start doing it.

Internationally, you need two categories:
- Developed nation with sophisticated infrastructure and drivers who don't care
Winner: Rome. In a landslide. They've had civilization for thousands of years and I believe that at this second four old women were run down by a car outside their houses. The same car.
- Developing nation with drivers adjusting to the changes
Winner: I'm not traveled enough to say for sure, but I'm really liking Mumbai for this one. Tempering the sheer mania of driving there (lanes are purely an aesthetic choice, cows are genuinely everywhere) is the fact that accidents seem really rare.

–Samir Mehta • May 5 2011, 1:05am EST

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–Jackie Mason • May 21 2011, 3:41pm EST

Yesterday, we had a front-row seat to watch someone run a red light beside a cop who stopped for the light, then get pulled over and ticketed. Beautiful. People drive through a lot of red lights in this town, but at least the cops do something about it when they see it.

–Scott Hardie • July 3 2011, 9:20am EST

The results are in!

–Steve West • November 5 2011, 11:24pm EST

must be a mistake Rhode island drivers are some of the worst I have ever experiences....right up there with Massholes

–Tony Peters • November 6 2011, 10:35am EST

We're #2! We're #2! We're #2!

–Erik Bates • November 7 2011, 4:02pm EST

Missouri drivers didn't seem bad when we visited for GooCon, but we didn't spend long on the road.

Florida's up there at #4. Of course.

–Scott Hardie • November 7 2011, 9:32pm EST

Scott: For the awful Missouri driving, you need to be in a city, I think. Weirdly the flaw here is a complete indifference to traffic signals and stop signs. On highways they are fine.

–Samir Mehta • November 8 2011, 12:40am EST

♫ Sarasota...
♫ You don't have to stop at the red light
♫ Drive the streets with money
♫ You don't care who's turning left or turning right

–Scott Hardie • January 23 2012, 10:55pm EST

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