 You Have Got to Be Kidding Me  I figured we needed a discussion about news stories that boggle the mind.... here is one that boggles mine–Tony Peters • March 9 2010, 8:45am EST  ... Ex husband was riding with her while she was on her way to a tryst? wthAbout that other part... What is wrong with doing that at home, a rest stop, somewhere else instead of where she was?! At least she doesn't have kids -or if she does, perhaps there have an iota more intelligence than her. Seriously... what the bloody f does she think she's doing? –Lori Lancaster • March 9 2010, 12:47pm EST  Best comment I read about this story: "it's all Bush's fault"–Scott Hardie • March 9 2010, 7:51pm EST  I'm sure her Romanian knucklehead cousin was responsible for the need for this road sign. Attention! Drunks!  –Steve West • March 9 2010, 9:00pm EST  LOL... just... lol.–Amy Austin • March 11 2010, 2:28pm EST seriously I have done some bizarre thing will driving down the road but I think I'd have to draw the line at scrapping a razor through man land, I mean one bump and all future pleasure is gone....not to mention that I'd probably bleed out on the highway..... talk about "blood on the asphalt"–Tony Peters • March 11 2010, 5:45pm EST Maybe she was trying to get on a reality show.–Scott Hardie • March 14 2010, 10:03pm EST It's a Florida thing right?–Tony Peters • April 3 2010, 8:52pm EST I'm better off not reading about such things. I thought this particular discussion might stay light-hearted/silly.–Amy Austin • April 3 2010, 9:36pm EST Sorry it just pissed me off and I needed to vent.......... I changed it to a lighter story....–Tony Peters • April 3 2010, 9:55pm EST Some things just shouldn't be pets–Tony Peters • April 9 2010, 9:24pm EST  Wow. Was there any doubt that that occurred in Germany? When it's weird, it's German.–Samir Mehta • April 10 2010, 2:17am EST could have been florida or bama–Tony Peters • April 10 2010, 4:54am EST ...and this is why I'm still nursing a very healthy fear of spiders. uck. *twitch*–Lori Lancaster • April 10 2010, 9:06am EST There was a time when he was cool right?–Tony Peters • April 13 2010, 6:01pm EST OK my Florida friends please explain THIS to me–Tony Peters • May 7 2010, 7:10pm EST Wow. I get that legislators could consider this a "waste of time". But doesn't that mean there could be a... REALLY FAST BILL? I mean, just rip off another state's law. That happens all the time!–Samir Mehta • May 7 2010, 7:38pm EST "It is icky," to quote the distinguished gentlewoman from West Palm Beach. Well, hell, so are a lot of things -- rape and murder certainly aren't dinner conversation, but come on... this is the sort of thing you're elected to take care of (and for a LOT of money, I might add!) -- fucking get over it, deal with it and pass a fucking law!!!This just pisses me off as badly as the recent SCOTUS decision that videos portraying animal cruelty are not, in and of themselves, illegal. Okay, wait... so animal cruelty is illegal, but... filming and distribution of it is a-okay? Yeah... once again, language and semantics issues -- the Court was apparently too worried that this might infringe upon their hunting magazine subscriptions, etc. -- I'm beginning to wonder if there aren't other things that those who are in charge are too worried about infringing upon... They damn sure wouldn't dick around on the issue of child pornography in this manner... just like they wouldn't wait to make sure that Megan's Law or Amber Alert got passed right the first time, either! So why the sudden squeamishness to deal with the sick fucks while they're still only into goat-fucking -- just make the law and be done with it, and then you won't have to discuss the legality of the "icky" issue anymore... you can just leave it to the fucking law enforcement and judicial branch at that point and go back to your luxury power lunches and full health-care coverage to discuss how to make work for the rest of us peons here in good ol' Floriduh! God, I fucking hate the government!!! Dammit, Tony... where the hell do you find all this shit, at letspissoffamy.com??? –Amy Austin • May 9 2010, 2:39am EST I was very reluctant to comment on Facebook about crush videos and play devil's advocate, since that was not a conversation where it would have been welcome. But if it's any more appropriate here: The Supreme Court rules on constitutionality, not morality. The ban on crush videos, good law that it was, was in conflict with the first amendment, so their decision was inevitable. There is no societal value in crush videos themselves, but a chilling effect from the law could potentially affect videos showing violence against animals that do have societal value, from movies like Apocalypse Now to instructional films for veterinary students studying surgery. The decision will hopefully lead to a very specific law in the future that targets crush videos more precisely. And to be clear, I do support that law and think that harm was done in overturning it.The bestiality thing, though? That's a no-brainer. Pass it and move on. –Scott Hardie • May 9 2010, 10:13am EST I understand that SCOTUS rules on constitutionality, not morality -- we have the same dilemma surrounding the Westboro funeral picketers. But I stand by my parallel example of child pornography and the differences in expediency of justice.–Amy Austin • May 10 2010, 6:56am EST Every time I read a news story about another crazy anti-immigrant bill in Arizona, which comes up depressingly often in the wake of SB 1070, I feel glad that I live in a relatively sane state. Well, so much for that.–Scott Hardie • June 26 2010, 2:56pm EST That's it I'm moving back to Honolulu and leave all these silly mainlanders and their racism behind–Tony Peters • June 26 2010, 3:26pm EST  OK, so...forgive my ignorance, but how is this a crazy racist law? Maybe I've missed the parts that are crazy, but it seems like it mostly seems to stop people from ignoring the fact that undocumented aliens are, in fact, in violation of federal laws. (See how I used the polite, PC term there?) As I understand it, a valid driver's license (or nondriving equivalent) is sufficient to prove legal status (unless the state of issuance doesn't check a person's legal status before issuing the identification card, which I would like to think most states do). Is it really a burden to ask people to have their id? I always have mine.And the police are only supposed to check during a lawful stop, so it's not supposed to be arbitrary (or at least no more arbitrary than any other police stop), so that shouldn't be the problem. If cops are inherently racist, then they were like that before the law. I don't think the bill changes what an officer can stop you for... Please explain this to me. I honestly have no idea what all the fuss is about. –Aaron Shurtleff • July 1 2010, 2:26pm EST Aaron, I completely get your perspective but here's the issue. Who decides who is getting asked? People of color often get stopped by police officers with little or no probable cause to stop them. That's what the racial profiling furor is over. The concern is then, what exactly prevents officers from stopping all people of color? Is that probable cause for this violation? The selective enforcement risks are the big ones for me.On the other hand, I agree with you. I'd only add that you should be frightened that MANY states do not check citizenship for licenses. Missouri, Illinois, and California have many, many undocumented immigrants carrying DLs. –Samir Mehta • July 1 2010, 5:29pm EST To me, the craziness and racism aren't in the letter of the law (which has other problems); they're in the spirit of the law. Arizona seems to have a raging hatred of Hispanic people right now, from the banning of cultural studies that might somehow give Hispanic students the idea that they're being oppressed by white people (imagine that), or the whitening of children painted in a mural to "better reflect the community," even though the children depicted in the mural are the actual students at the school. The hatred just seems so palpable in one news story after another, and forcing Hispanic people to carry their documents at all times seems like a step towards madness. Not to abuse Godwin's Law, but I can honestly see Arizona's next step being a night of smashing Hispanic-owned storefronts or making legal immigrants wear some kind of state-issued flag pin.From before America was even a nation, we've always blamed one immigrant group after another for all of our economic and societal problems – "dey took 'r jerbs" and all that. The current fashion is to blame Hispanic immigrants, particularly Mexicans, so I wonder what group will get all the blame in another couple of decades. (Someday in the far future, will we eventually blame extraterrestrial immigrants for takin' 'r jerbs?) Arizona aside, I'm just really sick and tired of the open hatred that we show to immigrants for the high crime of wanting the same quality of life that we take for granted. It's ugly, it's unfair, it's hypocritical, and it's one of our worst qualities as a nation. Then again, at least we eventually forgive one group and move on to some other scapegoat; most of the rest of the cultures on Earth harbor centuries-old or millenia-old grudges against a specific neighbor. As for the law itself, Samir is right that it depends on the police to be fair and impartial, and sometimes they're not. If you think that merely carrying your papers will protect you from police mistreatment, ask Chicagoan Eduardo Caraballo what he thinks. –Scott Hardie • July 3 2010, 8:36pm EST  [hidden by author request]–Jackie Mason • July 4 2010, 12:12am EST Jackie, you're right. It's a geography thing. It's also a class thing and a generational thing. For some people (e.g. white collar mid-management types) the outsourcing threat far exceeds the immigrant threat even in California. But that's a fight that is unwinnable unless the consumers rebel against it. But the interesting thing to me is that so many people have unique reasons for concern: the elderly of Arizona are apparently very supportive of this law. But why? Concern for their grandchildren? Fear of violence and crime? General concern about "changing our way of life"? It's that last one that gives lie to the issue for me. I get concern about jobs, about safety, about controlling budgets. But if you're panicking because some people eat different food, speak with an accent, or like different music then this country was never for you. America is blessedly a place where cultures do come together and alter each other. And we're the richer for it. When I sample right-wing radio, it seems like this issue is a HUGE problem even today. Which I find to be bizarre. –Samir Mehta • July 4 2010, 9:08am EST yeah....she's a gooood candidate –Tony Peters • July 8 2010, 8:03pm EST another stellar choice the lunatic right has made–Tony Peters • August 10 2010, 1:40pm EST Ironically, Maes didn’t do his research...Not ironic at all, actually. –Amy Austin • August 11 2010, 12:11am EST I just love the assumption that bicycle equals un-American–Tony Peters • August 11 2010, 6:24am EST But... the Chinese use bicycles and they are/were communist therefore anyone who uses a bicycle must be un-American.(for the sarcasm impaired: yes, it was sarcasm) –Lori Lancaster • August 11 2010, 10:12pm EST Coincidence?–Amy Austin • August 13 2010, 12:05am EST Yeah, I'm late to the party...?? So, Sharron Angle's inherent worthiness/unworthiness as a candidate comes down solely to her views on abortion? Seriously? I'm not saying I agree with her stance, but since no other real aspect of her political views is dealt with in the article, I can only assume she has none. I think (opinion coming up here) that there is probably some view held by every candidate of every party that I would not agree with, but I don't think that makes that person not a good candidate. I think you have to view a candidate as a whole, not just find the one aspect that is most distasteful to you, and run with it. Unless abortion is the most important topic facing America, in your opinion. In that case, more power to ya! :) –Aaron Shurtleff • August 13 2010, 4:18pm EST Ironically, if ICLEI (International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives) really does lead to population reduction, then Maes would have just thrown my vote to his opponent! Heck, yeah! Less people, less problems!I can't figure that one out. I'm all for people who want to get more "green", and I can't believe that bicycling is the slippery slope to communism. But what do I know? Maybe I am a masochist, but I'd like to hear more details about this secret conspiracy!! I suspect it would be like the Underpants Gnomes master plan on South Park: 1) Steal Underpants. 2) ???? 3) PROFIT!!! So this must be: 1) Bicycling and green iniatives. 2) ???? 3) COMMUNISM!!!! –Aaron Shurtleff • August 13 2010, 4:27pm EST I'm disappointed in the timely smears of Sharron Angle and Rand Paul. No sooner did Angle win her primary than her extreme views on abortion come to light. Paul had barely won his primary when his comments about the Civil Rights Act put him on the defensive. It's true that these were the candidates' own comments, but they had been public for some time without controversy. Now, in their moment of triumph, when it's time to make first impressions on the majority of voters in the general election, the candidates are suddenly embroiled in controversy. The left complains about the right's smear machine, but they've got a pretty effective one of their own.–Scott Hardie • August 14 2010, 9:54am EST Sorry most people knew that Rand was a nuttler and Angle is a Teabagger she's coo coo on principle–Tony Peters • August 14 2010, 4:55pm EST A local news story out of Maryland celebrates a local hero for rescuing a woman from a sinking car. The drunken rudeness of his ungrateful benefactor is kind of awe-inspiring in light of her almost dying.–Scott Hardie • November 20 2010, 8:32pm EST *sigh* Once again, Sarasota is in the news for something awful. The British papers are so polite, they take pains to explain what a nice, upscale, pretty place this is in spite of the double homicide. American papers wouldn't have bothered, or would have inferred that the whole city is crime-ridden. But really, after Carlie Brucia, and Paul Reubens, and 9/11, and "The Meanest City in America," and even back to Christine Chubbuck, this town has a knack for making national news in the worst possible light. It really is a nice place to live and work; just don't Google it.–Scott Hardie • April 19 2011, 11:26pm EST Nuclear meltdowns and tsunamis, global economic crises, civil war in Libya, Sarasota felony redux... aren't we due for another Charlie Sheen story?–Steve West • April 22 2011, 11:38pm EST Trump is the new Sheen.–Scott Hardie • April 22 2011, 11:51pm EST I didn't realize Bestiality was a problem...then i remembered that we are talking about Florida here–Tony Peters • May 6 2011, 4:15pm EST The threat to civil liberties posed by the "droopy pants" bill is hard to get worked up over when the fashion trend is so funny.–Scott Hardie • May 7 2011, 9:58am EST I guess W, Virginia has bat shit crazy people too–Tony Peters • May 8 2011, 3:20pm EST hey Floridians be careful it looks like your legislature has just made sex illegal–Tony Peters • May 11 2011, 8:47pm EST Utah gives Florida competition for the sexual lunacy crown.–Steve West • May 22 2011, 11:51pm EST I guess that means if I adjust my junk I could be arrested for solicitation–Tony Peters • May 23 2011, 10:38am EST Exactly. Don't play baseball in Utah.–Steve West • May 23 2011, 11:55am EST Along those lines, it's now a crime in Tennessee to transmit photographs that cause emotional distress. I take it this is another law intended for a narrow focus (preventing online harassment) that is so broadly worded that it can potentially apply to just about anything online. Maybe it will turn out to be unenforceable, and it will just be ignored before the ACLU gets all over it.–Scott Hardie • June 12 2011, 10:47am EST seriously??? and not even in Florida–Tony Peters • July 21 2011, 8:01am EST Man disguised as SpongeBob robs 7-11 in Florida. Of course he did. It's not like SpongeBob will go on a crime spree in Oklahoma.–Steve West • August 1 2011, 3:56pm EST I don't have much to say about this guy, but he definitely represents Pasco County.–Scott Hardie • August 20 2011, 6:18pm EST I saw this and was in tears.
–Tony Peters • September 9 2011, 6:22pm EST Haha! Yes! I'm stealing that!Reminds me of the "how to piss off a nerd" meme:
–Scott Hardie • September 9 2011, 8:08pm EST "Reminds me of the "how to piss off a nerd" meme:" I bite my thumb at you Sir. On a side note, you forgot one of the (geek) holy-ist of holies... Star Trek. –Lori Lancaster • September 9 2011, 9:43pm EST Know Your Meme has lots more, like this:
–Scott Hardie • September 9 2011, 11:10pm EST Potential advertisers take note: Florida firm offers free AK-47's for new business.–Steve West • September 20 2011, 7:22pm EST that sounds pretty cool Steve though I would prefer and SKS since they are better made and cheaper–Tony Peters • September 21 2011, 8:55am EST seriously you don't even have to guess its a florida thing but how many people do you actually see looking for this job?–Tony Peters • October 6 2011, 9:19pm EST 
–Erik Bates • October 7 2011, 1:33pm EST looks like I'm not the only one who thinks Florida has a problem–Tony Peters • October 16 2011, 8:55pm EST Jeff Foxworthy defined the adjective "redneck" as "a glorious lack of sophistication." That description suits Weird Florida just fine.–Scott Hardie • October 25 2011, 9:11am EST Case in point. Maybe "a dangerous lack of sophistication" would be more appropriate.–Scott Hardie • October 25 2011, 4:02pm EST Not all of the weird stuff that happens here is criminal, of course. From my back yard: (link)–Scott Hardie • October 26 2011, 8:36am EST True enough this is stupid but not criminal–Tony Peters • October 26 2011, 10:00pm EST We've always known Texas had problems–Tony Peters • October 29 2011, 2:00pm EST Also stupid but not criminal.–Scott Hardie • October 29 2011, 2:17pm EST Scott I just read about LEGO MAN in our local paper. That is to funny–Sarah Kyle • October 29 2011, 4:08pm EST Seriously????? a new meaning to "built like a brick shithouse–Tony Peters • November 20 2011, 5:56pm EST They believed that injecting this stuff would give them a firmer or shapelier figure, and it wouldn't cause bad side effects? Folie à deux.–Scott Hardie • November 20 2011, 7:40pm EST I better tell Brenda to cancel her next appointment.–Steve West • November 20 2011, 7:59pm EST Oh wow, I had Flash turned off, so I missed the video. Those hips are... something.–Scott Hardie • November 21 2011, 8:41am EST It isn't just the hips:
Normally it bugs me to hear a transgendered person described as their original gender, as "he" is by the reporter covering the story. Is this person not clearly living as a woman? But if there's anyone in the news lately who inspires confusion and disrespect, it's her. –Scott Hardie • November 22 2011, 9:02am EST Um... aside from not doing any research on the doctor before undergoing treatment, who the hell wants that much 'junk in their trunk?!' Sorry. but it had to be said.–Lori Lancaster • November 22 2011, 12:27pm EST Someone for whom the awful, awful lyrics of "My Humps" articulate a personal philosophy.–Scott Hardie • November 22 2011, 9:41pm EST Competitive shopping not in florida and happily I'm not out there on black friday–Tony Peters • November 25 2011, 11:30am EST I'm surprised that Black Friday still holds such power in the age of the Internet. But with everybody strapped for cash in recent years, stores are pushing these deals more than ever. They represent a chance to escape from the recession, for stores and for customers. I know several people compelled to work retail hours on Thanksgiving night who were not pleased.That scene in Los Angeles sounds like chaos. There's video online that claims to come from that same store that night. –Scott Hardie • November 25 2011, 12:53pm EST From the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction files: Steve Guttenberg receives star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. He was okay in Diner (barely) but the whole Police Academy string of doofusness makes me gag when I think on it too long. Cocoon? Please. 3 Men and a Baby made me punch a hole in the wall. Pleasantly surprised to hear of his philanthropic efforts, though.–Steve West • December 13 2011, 10:00pm EST Scat singing isn't for everybody, but some people really like it.–Scott Hardie • January 8 2012, 7:18pm EST thats a stiff one–Tony Peters • January 11 2012, 10:16am EST  No way that actually happened. I think the dead guy should demand a DNA test.–Steve Dunn • January 11 2012, 9:24pm EST It seems like a satirical site to me, hence the site's name (not to mention the woman's). But I'm a regular reader of Literally Unbelievable, and it makes me self-conscious about not getting the joke, or seeming not to get the joke, so I want to say for the record that I have no idea. :-)EDIT: Now I do. Snopes confirms that it's fiction. When I read the first paragraph, I just assumed that the woman had somehow extracted still-viable sperm from a fresh corpse via syringe or something, and rushed it to a OBGYN's office for impregnation. Outlandish, but maybe possible; I have heard of weirder things. The second paragraph is where it gets way out of hand. In a laboratory, ejaculated sperm has remained viable for up to something like 36 hours. That's an extreme case (it's rarely more than a few minutes, and no I'm not going to provide citation), but this information could explain why a tiny amount still present on a fresh corpse might possibly impregnate a woman post-mortem, however unlikely. But for a corpse to reach orgasm? No, just not possible. I'm not a doctor, but please. Apparently I feel no ick factor while discussing this. –Scott Hardie • January 11 2012, 10:00pm EST Snopes.com debunks this story here. Thank God.–Steve West • January 11 2012, 10:00pm EST Ha! Beat you by 1 second, Steve. :-)–Scott Hardie • January 11 2012, 10:01pm EST Funny. I had the same reaction as your commentary. "That cannot be true!", I was madly screaming in my head.–Steve West • January 11 2012, 10:03pm EST Florida doesn't have all the crazy.–Scott Hardie • February 6 2012, 6:28pm EST No question the woman is stupid but I'm not sure she did anything illegal that warranted being Tased and arrested....Trespassing???–Tony Peters • February 6 2012, 6:37pm EST Tanna said deputies are not allowed to use Tasers on a person who simply refuses to comply with orders without danger involved, but in this case Lucca was engaging in "threatening behavior."I sure hope there's a clear definition of that. What is the crime when someone interferes with a lawful business operation? Public disturbance? She was charged with trespassing, but what if she had blocked the only entrance to McDonald's, from just beyond the edge of their property? Could it become a civil matter instead of a criminal matter under some circumstances? And yes, all of this talk of McDonald's still makes me want some. –Scott Hardie • February 7 2012, 9:02pm EST Having written a lengthy paper on this issue generally, I'd say that there' almost certainly NOT a clear definition. From my research, most PDs are acting without any real definition on the appropriate situations for tasers.Yes, she's definitely going to be eligible for disorderly conduct/public nuisance in all cases. But if she did what you suggested, the remedies might be just civil. But disorderly conduct statutes are really vague (intentionally) and give police a lot of latitude to play with. –Samir Mehta • February 8 2012, 12:36am EST [cue joke about Officer Big Mac and the Hamburglar]–Scott Hardie • February 8 2012, 8:19pm EST I have this theory about large numbers: Once you get more than six or seven zeroes on the end, people lose all sense of scale or what's an appropriate amount for anything. This is where you get odd claims like, I dunno, cutting federal funding of NPR ($10 million) will help to reduce the national debt ($15 trillion).In that spirit, I give you the woman suing New York city for $900 trillion because she was separated from her children. That's $336 billion, per child, per day. It's also 14 times the annual GDP of planet Earth. –Scott Hardie • February 8 2012, 8:56pm EST It reminds me of Al "Geothermal Genius" Gore telling Conan O'Brien that the earth's core was several million degrees.–Steve West • February 8 2012, 10:35pm EST 10,000....several million were not talking dollars here so give the internet's creator a break–Tony Peters • February 9 2012, 2:19pm EST Not a chance that Nobel stealing, pompous blowhard jerkoff.–Steve West • February 9 2012, 3:31pm EST Speaking of pompous jerkoffs, Mark Zuckerberg has filed for an IPO, as Facebook is said to be worth in the vicinity of $100 billion. This seems like yet another case of people (investors) having no idea how unrealistic large numbers are.One analysis computed that for Facebook to return on an IPO investment that large, it would have to earn $5.02 per user per month. Currently, it earns less than five cents per user per month. What are their options for earnings growth? Signing up more users overseas in foreign markets that are already saturated? Selling more ads and bigger ads? Expanding the Facebook Credits program that pays for in-game features? Collecting even more of your personal information for sale to third parties? These options might eke out some extra cash, but none of them seem like they could multiply earnings by more than 100. Facebook stock might be a good buy in the very short term as first-week demand is going to be huge, but I cannot fathom anything but a massive decline in the years to come. There's just no justification for that high of a price in real money. Not only do we seem determined to repeat the sky-high fantasy valuations of the dotcom bubble, but we seem fine with the idea of living in an increasingly advertising-based economy. The big tech stocks in recent news all propose to reap an impossible fortune by selling ads and selling personal data for more ads. Does nobody wonder whether this represents a circular economy with no means of generating new wealth, as in manufacturing or specialized skills? We are becoming the snake that eats its own tail. But I'm no economist or stock analyst, so what do I know? Tell me I'm wrong. –Scott Hardie • February 9 2012, 5:37pm EST I'm impressed. I'm only one-quarter orangutan, myself.–Steve West • February 21 2012, 11:18pm EST Not dangerous, just stupid.–Steve West • February 25 2012, 8:57pm EST who knows maybe he was a master of the exploding finger–Tony Peters • February 25 2012, 9:40pm EST Give me the cash or I'll pull my own finger.–Steve West • February 25 2012, 9:46pm EST Want to participate? Please register a new account or login, then read the rules of conduct. |
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