Headline: Britney Spears goes bald.

I'm her publicist. My client has an album coming out soon. I see Anna Nicole Smith all over the headlines. I think, What in the hell stunt do I have to pull to get Britney back in the limelight?


Three Replies to Fuzzy Logic

Anna Gregoline | February 20, 2007
I think she's really losing it. Her ex is blabbing about their sex life, saying she cries after sex, she's in a divorce/custody battle with KFed, and her career is going nowhere. She exposed herself on purpose to be in Paris Hilton's club, and checked herself in and out of rehab in one day. Rumors of post-partum depression and plain old celebrity crazy are sounding possible to me.

Amy Austin | February 21, 2007
Britney-sympathetic/agreeing with Anna side:
Man, you're cynical, Scott!

Jaded/tired of Anna Nicole, too/agreeing with Scott side:
Well, it worked for Sinnead!

Anna Gregoline | February 22, 2007
Oh, and her nanny says that she doesn't know what to do with the kids, holds them for 10 minutes and says, "I'm done" and asks what to do when they cry. She's a celebrity, been one all her life, and everyone is out ot get her now, especially all of a sudden. I have a lot of sympathy.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

The Angry Number

Steve Dunn is bemused when people speak out against corporate America, as if it's a bad thing that they give millions of people jobs and create the products & services that enrich our lives. I'm with him, but sometimes I do get tired of being treated like a number. I've been a good tenant at this apartment complex for three years – always paid rent on time, no loud parties or messy pets or maintenance problems. Go »

Illinois-a Will Destroy Ya

Today, I was asked to jot down some memories of living in Illinois. I thought about a topic and wrote: Some of what I miss most about Illinois is the delicious, filling food. Loose meat sandwiches at the Maid-Rite in Peru, chocolate shakes at the Steak ‘n Shake in Normal, deep-dish pizza at Pequod’s in Lincoln Park, monte cristo sandwiches at the Sunrise in Macomb, horseshoes at the Field House in Springfield, pecan waffles at the Waffle Company in Mt. Go »

WLW: Can't

"Can't" is a word that fat people tell ourselves a lot after so many failed diets: We can't lose the weight, we can't succeed. Hearing it from a doctor would seem inconsequential. But it still hurts. Go »

When Erik Met Matthew

The spark for the idea came during the pandemic, when we here on Funeratic decided to try some Zoom conversations and games. Two people who I admire for (among other things) their ability to converse quickly and freely with strangers and to get along instantly with seemingly anyone, Erik Bates and Matthew Preston, talked to each other for the first time and of course they hit it off immediately. I knew I wasn't imagining it, because other people on the call remarked on it. Go »

Very Unique

If you're going to write on your resumé that you're an "exceptional team player," you'd better be prepared to explain during your interview how that's possible. Go »

Where the Hell I Have Been All Year, Part II

I have a job! It sounds silly to keep that a secret, and yet I did for two years. I was fearful of being dooced for the slightest remark, since nearly anything can be interpreted as inappropriate with enough reasoning. Go »