Overheard
by Scott Hardie on February 10, 2009
"Back when I sold real estate, I used to touch up the houses myself. It was a tough market, there wasn't money to pay for it. Anyway, this one house, I have the damnedest time getting the color in the living room right. It has this ugly buttery yellow paint on the walls. I try adding more white, and it looks like cheese popcorn. I try adding more yellow, and it looks like runny eggs. It's nasty."
"Oof. I can picture that."
"Yeah. So this couple buys the place, and before they move in I tell them I have to work on it a little more. I keep trying different shades and I can't get it right. Finally I run out of time and I hand it over to them, and I keep waiting for them to be pissed about it. One day, the phone rings, and it's the guy who bought it. He says, 'Richard, we have to talk about the paint in the living room.' I swallow and say, 'Yeah?' He says, 'My wife and I LOVE this color. How did you get such a beautiful shade? We want to paint all of the rooms this color. Please tell us where we can buy it.'"
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
WLW: No Payin', No Gain
My weight loss plan – which has become our weight loss plan, since Kelly intends to do just about everything I do – is on hold until I can recover from the move, which took my last penny and then some. On the bright side, I've been eating less since getting together with Kelly, and I burned what felt like a week's worth of calories during that move. We should start walking soon before we settle into a daily routine. Go »R.I.P. Katie
Go »Blood Lines
A few weeks ago, I dropped a glass bottle of salad dressing on the kitchen floor, making the house smell like vinaigrette for a day. Today, I stepped on the last errant bit of glass hiding in a crack of tile by the corner. Better my foot than the cat's paw, I guess; I don't lick between my toes. Go »Música de la polca
"I had to chaperone the prom at the high school where I worked. Most of the kids at that school are Hispanic, so they got to choose the music. You'd think they'd want to listen to hip hop or techno or something cool. Go »Worst Title Ever for a Magazine Interview with Rob Halford
"Priest Infection" Go »
