UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

There Really Are Superheroes

And most of them wear capes. Oddee does a nice roundup of ten real-life superheroes - people who actually dress up in costume and prowl their respective cities with a willingness to foil criminals and their crimes. While you may question their sartorial wisdom, you gotta admire their desire to make a difference. Go »

Farewell, My Brother

Brenda's brother, Scott, was in a motorcycle accident yesterday and without knowing any details of the accident, I do know that he was killed. I loved him very much and I know he loved me back. I wrote this simple tribute to him that I was forced to end because I couldn't stop crying. Go »

Professor's Last Lecture

If you were a college professor and had the knowledge that you had one last lecture to give. What would you say? What wisdom would you try to impart with this final opportunity? Go »

Public Service Announcement

For those of you who will be pulled over by the police and asked the inevitable question, "Because I'm smokin' hot" is not the correct answer to "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Live and learn. Go »

Where's The Winch?

We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »

It's Saturday And You Know What That Means...

Shopping Day. I went grocery shopping earlier today because I had the afternoon free and I prefer to get it done when I have the chance as opposed to shopping at night because that's the only time available after a full day's activity. Added bonus: no UOAS. Go »