When I flew to Fargo a while back for Denise's wedding, I woke up at 2am to be out the door by 3am to get to Tampa by 4am to check in by 5am for a 6am flight. I stepped into the long Delta check-in line an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight, but I was concerned at the signs all over the place saying I would be turned away if I arrived less than an hour before the flight. Sure enough, it took me half an hour to get through the line, and the rude Delta clerk refused to let me on the plane even though I could easily make it to the gate in time. I wound up sitting around the airport for hours and lost a whole day of my visit to Fargo, arriving that evening instead of that morning. I was ready to swear never to fly Delta again, and now I wish I'd done so.

What kind of operation are they running? The flight from Sarasota to Atlanta last night took forever to get off the ground, flew longer than was scheduled, and then sat on the ground for a seeming eternity. (Yes, this is largely the airport's fault.) I hustled as quickly as my aching legs could carry my fat ass to the next gate and arrived with five minutes to spare, but the door was closed and they wouldn't admit me. The plane was still sitting right there at the gate with people taking their seats, but "the door is closed" is apparently eternal law once enacted. I had to sit for 90 minutes to catch the next flight to Milwaukee, a puddle jumper that was the single most painful flight I've ever taken. My mom is a petite woman compared to me (photo), but even she would have had her elbow in the next person's face in this sliver of a seat. I had it so bad that even crammed against the window, my other arm was so far into the next seat that the woman beside me spent the two-hour flight doubled over reading her book at her knees. The armrests carved into my thighs and my butt wasn't even actually touching the seat. I realize I'm much bigger than the ordinary traveler and I expect pain when I fly, but this was ridiculous; I can't imagine a normal person fitting into this arrangement. I was on the verge of tears halfway through; I don't know if I could have made it if they hadn't arrived a half hour early. I sure hope I'm not stuck on another one for the return trip.

It's been great fun since I landed, though. Matt and I stayed up till 5am laughing and reminiscing and dropping bombshells about our new selves, most of which I shouldn't share here. We're off to visit old friends in Illinois tonight and return tomorrow for video-game shopping and General-Tso's-eating. Photos when I get back.


Two Replies to Screw Delta (Gotta Rant)

Jackie Mason | October 6, 2006
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | October 6, 2006
Hear, hear. Try investigating other airlines. I flew Airtran for each of my recent trips to Chicago and got used to upgrading to business class at the ticket counter for $50, and so I was a bit surprised when I flew Delta to Milwaukee and asked to upgrade and was told it would cost hundreds of dollars. Here's sticking to Airtran.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Parking Lot Pun

Overheard from an elderly woman whose groceries were being lifted into her trunk by a teenaged boy: "When you're as old as I am, the world is your hoister." Go »

Comeback

Kelly shared this news with me: Boomerang returns, even in space. I'm still waiting for scientists to announce, 'Boomerang' Starring Eddie Murphy Still Sucks, Even in Space. Go »

Protecting the Children

"Oh yeah, well you can suck my anus!" "Dude, watch your language! There are kids around." Go »

Crash

Some days are so bad, you feel like you've been the only driver in a demolition derby without a car. Go »

Haute cuisine

Today I came across this photo gallery of independent restaurants around our area. Some of them we've enjoyed, like GooCon favorite The Lobster Pot, and others are ones we just haven't gotten around to yet. As pretty as the food looks, I find myself looking at the dining rooms and noticing how many of them look decorated for private parties. Go »

Scott's Pet Peeve #2519

Why do some microwaves have a convenient quick-start option if you press 1 or 2 or 3, so that they instantly start cooking with 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 on the clock... but DON'T have this same functionality programmed into 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9, which do nothing when pressed alone? How does an engineer possess both the vision to provide the former and the lack of imagination that results in the latter? Go »